Mailing List

Available Now
Pre-order: iTunes | CD
Latest Tweets
Media Tools

The Park Avenue Sobriety Test

This is the Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s a kick in the teeth, it’s the hornet’s nest
It’s the Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s the cold hard light of day

It’s the pain in your heart, it’s the look in your eyes
When all of your friends are dropping like flies
It’s the hole in the sky when a young man dies
And you just want to go to sleep

When you finally sleep, you imagine a world
It’s a beautiful world, filled with beautiful girls
And the girls in your world, the one you imagined
They all want to know your name

So you tell them your name and they give you their number
As you’re calling them up, you awake from your slumber
Cause your landlord’s outside, he’s driving a hummer
And you’re starting to catch a cold

This is the Park, Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s a kick in your face, it’s the hornet’s nest
It’s the Park, Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s the cold hard light of day

It’s the kid on the street, he’s having a ball
And you’re watching his feet, ‘cause he’s kicking a ball
And he don’t need a phone and he don’t need the mall
And a tear rolls down your cheek

It’s the guy at the bank, he’s cashing a cheque
That the government sent ‘cause he’s out on the deck
Some words will not auto-correct
Like #whothefuck’llpayourrent

Some people are wealthy, others are rich
Some people complain, others just bitch
It might take a second to tell which is which
But the devil is in the details

This is the Park, Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s a kick in the teeth, it’s the hornet’s nest
It’s the Park, Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s the cold hard light of day

It’s the girl at the bar, she’s pouring a drink
She’s taking your dough, and you think that she winks
So you ask her your name and she tells you a lie
‘Cause Frank’s not a woman’s name

Last call has been called and now Frank’s closing down
You’re out on the street and there’s no one around
And it’s raining outside, in whiskey you’ve drowned
Now you’re walking across a bridge

And you’re sobering up and you get to the park
And it’s sketchy as hell and it’s totally dark
When you’re one of a kind you can’t get on the Ark
So zip up your jacket and go home

This is the Park Avenue Sobriety Test
It’s a kick in the teeth, it’s the hornet’s nest
It’s the Park, Park Avenue Sobriety Test
This is the cold hard light of day
This is the cold hard light of day
This is the cold hard light of day